I recently relocated back to my hometown in the middle of effing no-where and moved into my parent’s obnoxiously large, yet poorly decorated
I’m a self-centered narcissist who is a strong supporter of lying to get your way and flashing a little cleav for free drinks. I spend my days online shopping, getting drunk before 1 p.m. and staring at myself in the reflection of every mirror and/or window I pass. I also enjoy working out (no sweating), traveling and aimlessly swiping through Tinder trying to find someone worthy of my time. When I’m not busy doing all the aforementioned, I’m forced to spend my days functioning like an ordinary human being and going to W-O-R-K at my 8-5 corporate America job, because my parents are fucking selfish and don’t believe in sharing their money. 100% of the reason I’m in therapy.
My typical mood is kind of bitchy with a spoonful of sass and a hint of “I might be buzzed,” but like, what’s not to love about that? North West is my spirit animal and outfit inspiration, and if my life had a theme song it would be “Glamorous” by Fergie.
Some people will tell you I’m rude, fake, selfish, ignorant, spoiled and insensitive, and I would say to them, “Oh honey, make sure you add fabulous and borderline psychotic to that list.”
On this blog you will not find soul-searching, life-enriching posts, but I hope you will be inspired in other ways like to start Botox treatments at an early age (friends don’t let friends get wrinkles.) If you’re interested in reading material that’s less superficial, please contact me. I know of a few fucking boring blogs that might better suit your needs. P.S. If you think one of my posts is about you, that’s probably because it is.
Thank you for taking time to get to know me, and welcome to the blog. It’s gonna be a fun ride.
Want to know how it all got started? Find out here.